Sin Management via book by @truefaced
An internal dialogue on attempting a life of sin management:
“Sin… confes… do better for a while, then sin again. Embarrassment, confess again, ask God to take away the desire, then sin again, confess again, sin again, confess again, shock, more determination to stop sinning, think about it alot, examine it. Make promises, create some boundaries, and sin again, now even worse than before. Despair, anger, shame, distance from God, guilt. Self-condemnation, self-loathing… sin again.
Disillusionment, doubt, self-pity, resentment at God: Why doesn’t he hear my prayers? Why doesn’t he do something? More anger. Then fear that we allow ourselves to get angry with God. Then real confession, a heartfelt one, and a sense of cleansing. Ah, a new start. Things seem better. Yeah, I’ve finally got this sin under control.
Oops, sin again. Desperate efforts, bargains struck. Once-and-for-all healing. Really mean it this time. Sin again. Lose hope, give up, rationalize, minimize, blame, pull away, hide, judge others, put on a mask, go past the sin again, and so on.”
[p. 101-102 Trufaced]