Prologue Continued…
Without drama or fanfare, our positions in the church ended. My job situation lost its stability when the owner moved away and closed the local office.
My identity, tied to church leadership and job security, began to deteriorate, causing a ripple effect of increased stress, fear, and anxiety.
Not that I really knew or acknowledged everything. But just as good fruit is produced from a healthy tree, my unhealthy ways of coping were the evidence that not all was well on the inside.
Needless to say, these changes affected the dynamics of my home. So much was changing and yet we weren’t secure enough individually or collectively to know how to deal with it all.
We had no family to turn to, no friends, advisors, or trusted relationships. Well…maybe we had a few people, thousands of miles away in our respective home towns, but in the day-to-day, week-to-week experiences, we only had each other and surface level interactions at work or church.
Yes, we also had God. But God wasn’t speaking. Or we weren’t hearing Him. And the disruptions and disappointments continued.
As our daughter grew, we figured it was time to have another child. But pregnancy wasn’t as easy the second time. Months turned into years and even with the aid of spiritual and medical intervention, we still couldn’t get pregnant. Friends, with whom we celebrated the births of first children, went on to have seconds and thirds, while we just had our hope. Even our daughter, as she grew, learned to ask us and then pray nightly for a little brother or sister.
This started out as adorable, but after a year with no baby in mommy’s belly, our daughter eventually gave up.
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