I know I’ve heard people talk about this before. But only recently has the reality and necessity of dealing with this issue ever been so apparent.
The numerous thoughts that come to mind which question, challenge and try to improve my initial idea or direction is a serious problem.
I use to think I was a perfectionist.
But this can’t be pefectionistic because things are never perfect. They don’t get perfected, but rather refined and refined until there isn’t anything left. My energy is drained and yes, I may have made a little progress, but I’ve been tremendously inefficient. Disillusioned to believe that sweat equals success. I’ve allowed facets of my mind to keep me spinning in circles. Critical for the sake of being critical and distant from realizing what’s really important.
I use to think I just needed a better tool or system, a strategy for time management or the perfect app to log all my ideas.
I thought I needed a VA, EA or PM who could complement my inadequacies and fill in the gaps where I lack.
But no external person or system can fix what’s broken on the inside.
You see… I’ve got this critic that never quits. Never sleeps. Never stays quiet for long. My inner critic always gets the last word. Always has one alternative perspective. Always has a backup plan and parallel method.
And as long as I’m multitasking or changing directions, I’m not focused. I don’t really commit. I always leave the options open. There’s no faith, no trust, just a number of ideas.
Spirit led ideas and proven business ideas. Practical wisdom and personal preferences. Efforts that reinforce my DESIGN, directions that play to my strengths.
Not sure if you’re catching the pattern. It’s not about what’s right or wrong. The issue for me has been no matter what I choose, there’s always a thought that it may not be right or best way and so I begin coming up with alternatives.
I call this voice, this cause my inner critic.
Last week, after listening to two podcasts and a book that ranged from the subjects of intuition, flow and men/women sexual health. There was a commonality across them about a state when the mind becomes quiet, the thinking brain and the lizard brain are both on back burner and what comes forth is something else…
It’s a place where focus happens; and flow that follows focus. You get into a groove, live in the moment and experience growth and connection.
When I heard about this I quickly recognized it. Like an old distant friend. Familiar but not frequent enough.
And so, if nothing else is clear, I am now seeing the enemy and I recognize it’s activity. The criticism on myself or others. The judgement. The constant change and multi-streams of effort are the evidence of misguided distracted thinking.
Have you ever experienced this or overcome this?
Have you read something about it? Overheard a podcast, read an article about overcoming it?
If so, I’d love to hear about it. Please share.
(Unfortunately I haven’t figured out how to add comments on this template so, pls tweet me @ArvellCraig your comments. )